Announcer 1: Welcome to Global Stuff. Step into your corral and stay out of the sandbox!
Host: We gather here today to lay to rest the ancient play things of the past. Now, step foreward the replacement... FRED WIFFLE BALL!
Audience: What's a Dead Wifle. ::pronounces "wifle" like rifle with a w::
Host: Not a Dead Rifle, a Fred Wiffle Ball! Duh!
Announcer 1: That's right folks. No more firing at will, you can fire at Jow eith the Fred Wiffle Ball.
Audience: Hey, my name's Joe!
Announcer 1: That's a common misconception.
Audience: My name?
Announcer 1: No, that it'll only hit people named Joe. Nope-siree Bobbo. It'll hit the average Joe. A figure of speech perhaps.
Audience: Ya mean it'll hit Ruthelford?
Host: Ruthelford is a far cry from average OR normal.
Ruthelford: You called?
Director: I didn't hear the phone ring.
Host: Not this again... ::sighs::
Director: What again? YOu mean the phone thing? Oh no. don't worry about that. I had Jesse fix it last night. Or was it Rob? Oh well.
Host: NOOOOO! Not that! No, no, NOOO! I've got to see it for myself! We're all doomed! ::starts mumbling in French:: Je suis le fromage! J'aime beaucoup l'Aerosmith. Pas de nez!
Chorus: Yipity, skipity, nipity, flipity, bipity bopety boo! That's fun to say!
Ruthelford: Yeee haw! ::picks up Fred Wiffle Ball:: What's this nifty doo-dingy?
Announcer 2: That there is the genuine one-and-only Fred Wiffle Ball. That's the FRED WIFFLE BALL. It's worth 79.92 in English currency, 89.97 is Canadian currency, 176.01 in Bulgarian currency. ::goes on and on naming currencies::
Host: Here we go again. ::shakes head::
Ruthelford: What's this do? ::pulls the pin on Fred Wiffle Ball and throws it::
The Guy You Really Hate Because He Cuts the Show Right in a Suspenceful Moment: And now for some messages from our political sponsors!
Sad Audience: ::depressed:: Yea...
Commercial Announcer: That is the reaction you get with our current state of the union address translator.
The Audience Formerly Known As Sad: YEA!!!! ::cheers wildly::
Commercial Announcer: That was the reaction you get when you elect Average Joe Translator, he works for you!
Joe: Vote for me! ::gets hit by Fred Wiffle Ball:: Ooo, that tingles! Funny! Heeeeee... I don't feel so Average anymore!
Commercial Announcer: Shut up you fool! You'll ruin the who campaign! What are you going to tell old 10-Fingers now, huh???
Joe: Sorry, but ::giggles:: I just can't help it.
Commercial Announcer: That's it, I give up. I quit!
TGYRHBHCTSRIASM: And now back to our regularly scheduled avertisement.
Host: ::with director:: Hey, you can't cut for advertising during an advertisement!
Both: Jinx! Double-jinx! Jinx times infinity! Jinx times higher than you can count! Okay, I give up. You win. No, YOU win. Really! Whatever...
Ruthelford: Sorry No-Longer-Average Joe Translator! OH well... he was generic anyway.
Lifty: Tell me about it (stud).
Evil Twin: ::drops script in trash can::
Lifty: Hey! That's the script! You're supposed to RECYCLE it. Here... ::picks script up and puts it in the recycling bin:: We don't use it anyway, you can't defeat us this way, Evil Twin! Mwahahahaa!
Director: Cut! What is this madness?! ::a large bag of sand falls on the director and he falls on the camera. As the picture fades out Evil Twin is laughing::