Announcer 1: Welcome to Global Stuff. Step into your corral and stay out of the sandbox!

Host: We gather here today to lay to rest the ancient play things of the past. Now, step foreward the replacement... FRED WIFFLE BALL!

Audience: What's a Dead Wifle. ::pronounces "wifle" like rifle with a w::

Host: Not a Dead Rifle, a Fred Wiffle Ball! Duh!

Announcer 1: That's right folks. No more firing at will, you can fire at Jow eith the Fred Wiffle Ball.

Audience: Hey, my name's Joe!

Announcer 1: That's a common misconception.

Audience: My name?

Announcer 1: No, that it'll only hit people named Joe. Nope-siree Bobbo. It'll hit the average Joe. A figure of speech perhaps.

Audience: Ya mean it'll hit Ruthelford?

Host: Ruthelford is a far cry from average OR normal.

::floor shakes::

Ruthelford: You called?

Director: I didn't hear the phone ring.

Host: Not this again... ::sighs::

Director: What again? YOu mean the phone thing? Oh no. don't worry about that. I had Jesse fix it last night. Or was it Rob? Oh well.

Host: NOOOOO! Not that! No, no, NOOO! I've got to see it for myself! We're all doomed! ::starts mumbling in French:: Je suis le fromage! J'aime beaucoup l'Aerosmith. Pas de nez!

Chorus: Yipity, skipity, nipity, flipity, bipity bopety boo! That's fun to say!

::floor shakes::

Ruthelford: Yeee haw! ::picks up Fred Wiffle Ball:: What's this nifty doo-dingy?

Announcer 2: That there is the genuine one-and-only Fred Wiffle Ball. That's the FRED WIFFLE BALL. It's worth 79.92 in English currency, 89.97 is Canadian currency, 176.01 in Bulgarian currency. ::goes on and on naming currencies::

Host: Here we go again. ::shakes head::

::floor shakes::

Ruthelford: What's this do? ::pulls the pin on Fred Wiffle Ball and throws it::

The Guy You Really Hate Because He Cuts the Show Right in a Suspenceful Moment: And now for some messages from our political sponsors!

Sad Audience: ::depressed:: Yea...

Commercial Announcer: That is the reaction you get with our current state of the union address translator.

The Audience Formerly Known As Sad: YEA!!!! ::cheers wildly::

Commercial Announcer: That was the reaction you get when you elect Average Joe Translator, he works for you!

Joe: Vote for me! ::gets hit by Fred Wiffle Ball:: Ooo, that tingles! Funny! Heeeeee... I don't feel so Average anymore!

Commercial Announcer: Shut up you fool! You'll ruin the who campaign! What are you going to tell old 10-Fingers now, huh???

Joe: Sorry, but ::giggles:: I just can't help it.

Commercial Announcer: That's it, I give up. I quit!

TGYRHBHCTSRIASM: And now back to our regularly scheduled avertisement.

Host: ::with director:: Hey, you can't cut for advertising during an advertisement!

Both: Jinx! Double-jinx! Jinx times infinity! Jinx times higher than you can count! Okay, I give up. You win. No, YOU win. Really! Whatever...

::floor shakes::

Ruthelford: Sorry No-Longer-Average Joe Translator! OH well... he was generic anyway.

Lifty: Tell me about it (stud).

Evil Twin: ::drops script in trash can::

Lifty: Hey! That's the script! You're supposed to RECYCLE it. Here... ::picks script up and puts it in the recycling bin:: We don't use it anyway, you can't defeat us this way, Evil Twin! Mwahahahaa!

Director: Cut! What is this madness?! ::a large bag of sand falls on the director and he falls on the camera. As the picture fades out Evil Twin is laughing::