CONCRETE PANTS


Announcer1: From the creators of the big Bang T-shirt comes CONCRETE PANTS!!!!

Announcer2: Hey all you easily persuadable teens! Wanna be really cool? Here's your chance!

Host: ::walks stiffly in with neck brace on:: Hi Y'all! Sup today?

Audience: ::mumbles:: Nothing...

Host: Well Iíve got something that'll cheer ya up and hold you down. YEEE HAW!! ::Falls over::

Audience: Ooooo, ahhhhh!

Host: Here at global stuff we only sell the best. We have broken apart from the competition in two areas, food processing and fashion. Today, this hour only, we have for you the latest in fashion! Most companies only go as far as stiff pants. Weíve taken that a step further. We now haaaaave.......................CEMENT PANTS!!!!!

Audience: WHOOPEE!!!!!

Host: Hot digity dog! Thatís right folks, today only you can get our one of a kind cement pants! ::A covey of quails and bobwhites walk stiffly across the stage::

Audience: ::looks amazed:: HUH?

Host: We even have cement pants for your pets!

Audience: Ohhhhh, COOL!!!!!

Host: I know, I know, now youíre saying, "Sure the great, awesome, stiff pants are cool, but how much are they?" Well, that there is an easy question answered. Rob, tell 'em what we want!

Anouncer2: You got it! Thatís easy, all we want is one of the major appliances from your home, a brand new never been used microwave or toaster, the blue box, or as a last resort, weíll take 6 easy payments of $39.95 in English currency, or 49.95 in Canadian currency, or 109.89 in Samoan currency, ::goes on and on naming amounts and currencies::

Announcer1: ::static in background:: Cut the cord, cut the cord on that loon! Where's my psychologist? I need my medicine!

Stagehand: This one???

Announcer1: Yes! No! The blue, the blue!

Stagehand: A blue psychologist?

Announcer1: No you imbecile! The blue cube! I mean cord!

Stagehand: That's a mighty expensive wire you're telling me to snip sir! ::rambling of Announcer2 continues::

Announcer1: I donít care! Just shut him up!

Stagehand: OK Sir! ::static gets louder and then lights go out::

Host: ::quails and host knock over a few camera people and fall into the audience just as the generator kicks on:: OOF!!!!

::Announcer2 continues::

Announcer1: Cut the cameras! Roll the credits!

Stagehand: ::rolls out a sheet of paper with peopleís names on it and runs to cameras with scissors::


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